He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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