how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
