I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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