Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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