CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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