this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
