Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
