He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
