If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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