Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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