I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
