using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
