He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
time to smoke my breakfast
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
When are your genitals available?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
