i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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