Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
