I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
