I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
