He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
