I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
