I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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