we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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