They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize