I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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