I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
