the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I touched a dick in church today
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
