using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
