You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
