I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
