Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
