if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
