We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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