terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
