yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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