So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
