I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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