hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
God, I missed his penis.
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