ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
