ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
