Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's shark week go big or go home
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
