Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
