five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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