Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
