oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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