it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
