Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
