Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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