I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
