I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
