Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
