Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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