In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
