is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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