Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
