Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
